You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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