i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
