dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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