Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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