I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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