also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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