yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize