Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
