yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
