yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
