the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
