After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
