It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
