I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize