I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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