best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
