Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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