only if we run a train.
done.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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