Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
