had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
