Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
