Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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