If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
