i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
