I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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