We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
even my farts smell like vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
