Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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