Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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