Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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