No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize