Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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