Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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