do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
