You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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