he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize