Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
