I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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