at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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