doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
