You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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