Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
