don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
