im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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