exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
