Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
