I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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