Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
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his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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