so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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