1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
