why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
