if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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