I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
