Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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