idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
