I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize