Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's blow job season.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
