i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
