I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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