You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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