if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
