I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
