return my video game
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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