Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
