only if we run a train.
done.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
